How to Train Hard and Still Have a Life: A Female Athlete’s Guide to Finding Balance
- Larissa Paes Thackeray
- Nov 27
- 5 min read
Updated: Nov 27
The Myth of “All or Nothing”
For years, we have been told that if a female athlete wants to reach the highest level, she must sacrifice everything — social life, moments with our partners, fun, hobbies, even basic rest.
While it’s true that elite sports demand a shift in priorities, taking it to the extreme is the perfect recipe for burnout. And I believe it’s safe to say that we have ALL been there.
A few years ago I moved from Brazil to the United States in the pursuit of a new sport – ice speed skating. I didn’t know anyone, and all I did was go to the track and back home.
I got a boyfriend who was also a skater, all of our friends were skaters, and quickly the pressure to perform was at all sides. There was no escaping it.
It took me many years and a lot of mental breakdowns to realize what might have been somewhat obvious. Being “locked in” all the time is not healthy.
When life outside the rink/track/gym is healthy and stable, performance improves — not the other way around.
I used to think that if you train hard, you’ll be great. And the problem with believing that was that my life outside of sports was a mess. The worse things got, I wanted to train harder to distract from everything else. It motivated me, but it also got me stuck.
Once I finally realized that I had to take care of my life and that only then I could make real progress, everything started falling into place, and I got back to a nice uptrend.
Of course, I’m not trying to say that you need to have multiple side projects and overwhelm yourself with different commitments until sport becomes just one more obligation. Nor am I saying that you should party a lot and jeopardize your recovery. It’s just about making your health, social life and leisure time a crucial part of your process.
Balance isn’t perfect or static — but it’s possible. If everything else in your life is smooth, training hard will get easier too.
Let’s talk about how.
What Science Says: Balance Makes You a Better Athlete
A 2024 study published in Sports analyzed how lifestyle stress — not just training load — affects female athletes’ recovery and readiness.
Researchers found that emotional stress and social pressure directly impair performance and increase injury risk.
In other words:
Life matters. Your body carries your whole world into training, not just your workout.
Overtraining Isn’t “Discipline”
You’ve probably heard this term. Although athletes sometimes use it loosely, Overtraining isn’t just when you’re exhausted from training on a hard week. It’s the accumulation of burnout over time, and it gets to the point that you truly question if you still want to be an athlete.
A review from Sports Health found that chronic overload without proper mental and emotional recovery leads to true overtraining syndrome — a state where performance declines despite more effort, and athletes lose joy, motivation, and resilience.
This is why “no life, only grind” isn’t a flex… it’s a red flag.
What Elite Female Athletes Do Differently
You’re not alone in this balancing act. Top female athletes openly share how they make it work.
Kate Courtney (Mountain Biker) — “Balance is part of performance.”
In an interview with Parity, she explained how she manages a demanding training schedule with relationships, travel, recovery and wellness practices.
📎 Source: https://impact.paritynow.co/how-these-professional-women-athletes-manage-time-work-and-training
“Creating balance is about deciding what fills your cup — whether it’s a quiet walk, time with friends, or an hour doing something creative. That’s part of the athlete life too.”
This aligns with what many female athletes intuitively feel:We perform better when our lives are full, not empty.
Michellie Jones (Olympic Medalist Triathlete)
In her Authority Magazine interview, Michellie Jones talked about the long-term foundation required to maintain decades of elite performance.
She emphasizes purpose, sustainability, and the power of building a life around — not against — your sport.
“The athlete lifestyle is about more than just training sessions. It’s about balance, recovery, joy, and the people who support you.”
This message is gold:You don’t need to choose between excellence and living. You build both.
Putting it to practice: 6 Steps to Athlete-Life Balance
While training for an elite sport, we do have to work hard.
Many of my weeks are full of double sessions, long training days with skating, cycling, running, lifting weights, competition travel, and the pressure to drop seconds off my race times.
But here’s what I’ve learned actually helps performance:
1. Keep Your Identity Bigger Than Your Sport
When you let the title of “athlete” define you, it slowly becomes a matter of proving your worth as a person through performance.
You are not just an athlete. You’re a woman, a daughter, a sister, a friend, a student, a reader, a professional, a traveler. The passion that made you become an athlete is not in the sport, it’s in YOU.
2. Build rituals, not rigid rules
Training is strict. Life doesn't have to be.
Some of my non-negotiables:
Spending time with my husband
Praying before bed
Studying what I enjoy
Having some self-care time (hair, skin, nails)
Spending time with my pets
Calling family
These aren’t distractions — they're recovery tools.
3. Social support is performance-enhancing
Athlete loneliness is real. Research shows that social support reduces stress markers and improves readiness.
Spending some light social time is as powerful as a recovery boots session.
Having friends outside of sports can be very refreshing. They won’t understand you as an athlete, but they might help you detach and realize you do have a personality outside as well.
4. Let go of perfection
Balance is not 50/50.Some weeks are 90% training.Some weeks, life asks for more.
And that’s OK.
Accept that you don’t have to “win” every practice. You’re building a career as an athlete.
Years from now you’ll look back and see how beautiful each experience was. It is important to enjoy the moment you’re living.
5. Choose People Who Support Your Goals
If your life circle drains you, training becomes twice as heavy.
Surround yourself with:
people who respect your time
coaches who value balance
partners who believe in your dreams
friends who understand your schedule
Balance is easier when your environment supports it.
6. Listen to Early Warning Signs of Burnout
If you notice:
irritability
insomnia
lack of motivation
fatigue outside workouts
emotional ups/downs
slower recovery
This isn’t weakness — it’s data.
Your body whispers before it screams.
Final Thoughts: You Don’t Need to Lose Yourself to Win
Female athletes are redefining what peak performance looks like.Not the grind-until-you-break mentality.Not sacrificing friendships, joy, and identity.Not choosing between medals and life.
Instead:
Training hard + living fully = sustainable excellence.
I’m living that equation every day on my own career, and I hope this blog becomes a place where other women feel seen, supported, and empowered to do the same.
You can be fierce, feminine, joyful, disciplined, tired, powerful — all at the same time.
And you deserve a life both inside and outside your sport.
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